Other than New Year’s Eves, birthdays are when I’m most reflective. I think about what I’ve set to achieve, about what I actually did achieve, about the people who made impact (negatively and positively), about the impact I think I’ve made on people (again, both negatively and positively), and most importantly, about how much I have grown.
It’s so hard to not get caught in the race, to not needing to achieve beyond what is healthy. For me, at least. I know that I am over compensating many things that I wish I had, that I tend to forget about what I do have and cherish them. The need to “succeed”, the need to prove that I have or can make it in time, the need to have ammunition for the biggest FU when I get rejected again. All unhealthy, but I have yet able to manage it.
This year though, I am going to really work on it. To find a healthier fire to fuel me, and most importantly, to count my blessings more frequently. I have health, comfort, friendship and love; there really is not much more that I need.
What I don’t have in some areas, I have more than enough in others. I shall not forget this. Thank you to those who try very hard to fill the empty gaps in my life, I value you and treasure you more than you will ever know. Thank you.
To another year, to another chance to grow.