Like I have said previously, I believe in fate. In my moments of feeling inadequate and low of self-confidence, I was given the opportunity to do three free life coaching sessions with Butterfly Dawn. How could I say no to that? 🙂
I was able to relate and open up pretty quickly to Sarah. I guess through her experience, she would know how to put people’s mind at ease. In my first session with her, we discussed my feeling of inadequacy as a mum and what I could do to improve my self-confidence. It was in this session that she reminded me to do my daily Gratitude list again. We discussed my childhood and how it affected me now, and I wouldn’t say it was a breakthrough, but it was close to it. I was not expecting any immediate result, however, after talking to her and doing my lists for a week, I could feel my confidence increasing.
On our second session, we discussed my constant feeling of guilt, especially when I get annoyed or frustrated at Little E. It is always my paranoia and fear that as soon as I catch myself feeling even the slightest of anger, I would turn into my mother. I really do not want that to happen, and so I would feel guilty for being angry/frustrated/annoyed. It was not healthy, as I would instead, internalised it. Again, Sarah was able to put my mind and worries at ease, and the words she said to me during that session would forever soothe my worry – “you cannot blame yourself for what someone else is frustrated about themselves”. I am grateful for those words.
We didn’t really discussed any more of my worries on our third sessions as, amazingly that day, I had felt peace. For a very long time, I have been troubled. I had difficulties in getting to sleep at night, even when Little E has started sleeping through till the morning. However, between the opportunities I had talking to Sarah, and the daily lists that I kept doing, I felt content and peaceful. Obviously, the road to being a better me and coming to terms with my childhood/family-situation is still very long. However, I know that I am already on the right path and I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Unfortunately, I won’t be continuing my sessions with Sarah past the free sessions. As she is located in Victoria, we had been doing these sessions over the phone. It was very hard to be 100% concentrating on what we’re doing for the full hour (or more), as Little E would either be crying or needing my attention. I would prefer to have my coach in front of me in person, or when I have time for myself during the day, which I cannot see in the near future.
Regardless, I am thankful for the opportunity that I did have with Sarah. Like I have said above, I feel better about myself already and I know that what I am doing so far for my son, is exactly what he needs from me as his mother. What happened to me as I was growing up and the example set by my mother will need a lot of work to be done, but I know I am on my way to “freedom”.
If any of you are interested in doing life coaching, please do contact Sarah on her Facebook Page.